Meeting Notes [8th August 2026]

Date: 8 August 2026

Location: St. Mary’s, Pope’s Quay, Cork

Opening Context

We began our meeting with a time of Adoration before reflecting together on the reading.

The meeting took place on the Memorial of Saint Dominic, priest, founder of the Order of Preachers. Saint Dominic’s life of prayer and desire to lead others to God offered a fitting context for a reflection on seeking God’s glory rather than our own.

Diego Velázquez, Kitchen Scene with Christ in the House of Martha and Mary, probably 1618. © The National Gallery, London. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0. Diego Velázquez | Christ in the House of Martha and Mary | NG1375 | National Gallery, London

Reflection Reading

Book: LEAD: The Four Marks of Fatherly Greatness

Author: Devin Schadt

Pillar: Pillar 1 – Listening to Discern Your Mission (Embracing Silence)

Reading: 44. Silence Before Men

Pages: 125–127

The reading reflected on our desire to be noticed, affirmed and honoured by others. It warned that even good works can become disordered when they are driven by a desire for recognition rather than the glory of God. For fathers, this temptation can appear when we begin to doubt the value of our vocation at home and look elsewhere for affirmation.

The reading brought this particularly close to Saint Joseph. No words of his are recorded in Scripture, and yet his hidden life of obedience and fatherhood speaks powerfully. His greatness did not depend on being noticed. The reading connects this hiddenness with Luke 8:17: “For there is nothing hidden that will not become visible, and nothing secret that will not be known and come to light.”

Call to Action

Over the coming reflections, we are invited to recognise the behaviours that make us dependent on human respect and to ask God for the courage and freedom to live for His praise alone.

Reflection Associated with the Reading

The reading directs us to the Examen Silence Before Men, inviting us to examine where our actions are influenced by the desire for recognition and where we need greater freedom to act simply before God.

Shared Thoughts from the Group

• We reflected on how difficult it can be to recognise what belongs to God’s providence, what we cannot change, and what we are called to influence or act upon.

• Humility requires us to recognise Divine Providence while learning to be content with being known and loved by God.

• A real relationship with God and communion with the Church allow the sacraments to transform our hearts.

• One line from the reading stayed particularly strongly with us: “A man who eats too much honey does himself no good; similarly, the man who seeks his own glorification will be crushed by that same renown.” — St Bernard.

Personal Reflections & Final Thought

My sense from both the reading and our discussion is that it is very difficult to have the wisdom to know what I need to accept and what I can — or even must — try to change. Almost every time I reflect on this pillar, I arrive at the same point: there is a mystery in understanding how much we can influence or actively participate in God’s plans. Perhaps this is one reason why we need to remain constantly in prayer, allowing our will to become more aligned with His.

The phrase from St Bernard stayed particularly strongly with me: “A man who eats too much honey does himself no good; similarly, the man who seeks his own glorification will be crushed by that same renown.” It made me think about two extremes. On one side, a man may accept everything as it is, almost believing that his actions make little difference. On the other, he may believe that everything depends upon his own effort and that reality must bend to his will. Neither seems to be the Catholic way. We are called to act and take responsibility, but also to recognise Divine Providence and our dependence upon grace.

During the week before this meeting, I had been studying the origins of Protestantism, particularly the life of Martin Luther. Two aspects surprised me. The first was his severe struggles with scrupulosity. The second was the disorder that sometimes appeared in his prayer life. Luther later recalled neglecting the canonical Hours during the week and then trying to complete them together on Saturday. Other accounts describe longer periods of neglect followed by intense efforts to compensate through prayer, fasting and severe mortification.

I found this striking because prayer, which should teach us dependence upon God, can itself become something we try to master through our own strength. There is a difference between faithfully returning to God each day and allowing prayer to become a debt that must later be repaid through extraordinary effort.

The other aspect that surprised me was Luther’s later rejection of the Catholic understanding of the Mass as a sacrifice. I do not think that his scrupulosity or prayer life can explain something as complex as the Reformation. Yet, as a personal reflection, the contrast stayed with me: a man who had experienced religion in such an intensely burdensome way eventually rejected important parts of the sacramental and ecclesial framework within which he had experienced that burden.

This brought me back to the same two extremes. I can become so overwhelmed by reality that I feel powerless before it, or I can trust my own judgement so much that I believe everything must be corrected according to my understanding. The answer is not simply to find a comfortable middle point, but to remain close to God. Without prayer, I can mistake passivity for trust in Providence, or my own determination for cooperation with God’s will.

Saint Joseph offers a very different example. His silence was not passivity. When God asked something of him, he acted: he received Mary into his home, protected Jesus, fled to Egypt and returned when instructed. Yet he did not attempt to impose his own great plan upon the world. He listened, discerned and acted upon what was entrusted to him.

Perhaps that is what I take most from this reading. Prayer does not necessarily remove the mystery of knowing when to accept, when to act and when to let go. It teaches me how to live faithfully within that mystery. I do not need to believe that nothing depends upon me, nor that everything depends upon me. I need to remain close enough to God to recognise what He is asking of me, with the humility to accept what I cannot change and the courage to act upon what He has placed in my hands.

God, grant me the courage to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept those I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. But God, grant me the courage not to give up on what I think is right, even though I think it is hopeless. Amen.

Serenity Prayer - Cathedral of St. Thomas More