Meeting Notes [22nd August 2026]

Date: 22nd August 2026

Location: St Mary’s Church, Pope’s Quay, Cork

Opening Context

We began our meeting with a time of Adoration before reflecting together on the theme of fatherhood and the respect due to fathers.

Liturgical Calendar

Our meeting took place on the Memorial of the Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary, inviting us to contemplate Mary’s place within God’s order and her faithful participation in the life of the Holy Family.

Reflection Reading

For this meeting, we stepped away from our usual book reading and reflected instead on an episode of The Brendan Option:

Video: Fathers Deserve Respect | THE BRENDAN OPTION 267 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbruUQXMNkM]

Speaker: Fr Brendan Kilcoyne

Episode: 267

Published by: Immaculata Productions

Fr Brendan’s reflection begins with a simple question: beyond the cards and celebrations of Father’s Day, what does it actually mean to be a father? His central argument is that fatherhood is not merely a generic form of parenting. Father and mother have distinctive and complementary roles, and children benefit when both understand and live those roles.

He uses the image of a dance: a dance works when those taking part know the steps proper to them. In the same way, family life requires fathers and mothers to recognise their respective responsibilities rather than treating them as interchangeable. He particularly warns against a father becoming a passive presence within his own home.

A significant part of the reflection concerns respect. Fr Brendan argues that respect for fathers must be more than something expressed on Father’s Day. Husband and wife should avoid undermining or criticising one another in front of their children, because doing so harms not only the spouse but the unity and order of the family itself. Children, too, can disagree with their father while still treating him with respect.  

Finally, Fr Brendan turns the question towards fathers themselves: do we respect our own calling? He asks whether fathers recognise their responsibility as men, as fathers, and as spiritual leaders within their families. His closing prayer is that fathers may become worthy of what he calls their “magnificent calling”.

Call to Action

Treat fatherhood as a genuine vocation: fathers should embrace their distinctive responsibility within the family, while spouses and children should give that calling the respect necessary for it to flourish.

Shared Thoughts from the Group

• The figure and role of the father are increasingly under attack in contemporary culture.

• A father can bring an important sense of stability to family life.

• In some cultures, the responsibility of being a provider remains strongly associated with fatherhood.

• Fathers and mothers have legitimate roles within the family, and recognising those roles can help provide clarity and stability.

Personal Reflections & Final Thought

Earlier in my own journey, I rather naïvely thought that people could naturally self-organise and that things would simply fall into place. I brought some of that thinking into my early years as a manager and team leader. Experience gradually taught me something different: clear roles and responsibilities matter, but so does the common spirit that binds people together. Looking back, I now see something of this principle embedded much more deeply in human experience.

This reflection made me think about how easily we can dismiss the particular roles of fatherhood and motherhood as merely social constructions. I believe there is a legitimate role for the father, just as there is for the mother and for each member of the family. When those roles become confused, we can lose the roadmap by which we understand our responsibilities and grow within them. This is one reason I appreciate the clarity with which Fr Brendan speaks. His words challenge me to look beyond theories and ask whether what I believe can actually be recognised and confirmed through lived experience.