Meeting Notes - Agony and Ecstasy

Date: Saturday, 11th October 2025

Location: St. Mary’s, Pope’s Quay, Cork, T23 P8ER

Context

We resumed our meetings at the Dominican Church at St. Mary’s, Pope’s Quay, in Cork City. The morning began with a time of quiet adoration before moving into our reflection.

Reflection Reading

Book: LEAD: The Four Marks of Fatherly Greatness by Devin Schadt

Pillar II: Embrace Your Essence [Embracing Woman]

Reading 65: Agony and Ecstasy

“Christ in the Storm on the Sea of Galilee” (1633) by Rembrandt van Rijn. Oil on canvas, 160 × 128 cm. Originally housed in the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, Boston. Object number P21s24. Source: Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum collection page. gardnermuseum.org

This reading reminded us that life is made up of both joy and suffering — sweetness and bitterness, blessings and trials. Our wives are no different: they are both a tremendous blessing and, at times, a source of frustration and pain.

The author explains that the challenges of marriage and family life, when faced with self-giving love, transform us. Just as olives are crushed to release their oil, husbands too are “pressed” by the demands of love, allowing pride and ego to be purified. Through this process, we become capable of a deeper, more selfless love that blesses our families.

Call to Action

Withdrawing from one’s wife, emotionally or spiritually, is one of the greatest ways a husband can fail his children. This withdrawal often comes from resisting the “crushing” moments that love requires. Yet, by responding to pain and tension with patience and love, we allow a “holy oil” to anoint our marriage and family.

Let us aim to resist the temptation to retaliate or close off. Instead, respond with calmness and love.

Reflection Questions (Page 446: Embrace Woman)

• Do I truly understand that my essence as a man is to set the pace of self-giving love — imitating Christ the Bridegroom, who sacrificed Himself for the Church?

Shared Thoughts from the Group

• The group reflected on the passage of Jesus calming the storm (Mark 4:35–41, Matthew 8:23–27, Luke 8:22–25).

• We discussed how fathers are called to remain calm and trusting amid life’s storms, showing serenity and confidence in Christ’s guidance.

• Our families look to us for stability. By keeping faith in Jesus, we help bring peace to our homes.

• We also shared thoughts on the meaning of family through God’s eyes, helping us better understand our role as husbands and fathers.

• It was highlighted that women have a profound ability to help boys grow into men — but only when men respond rightly, with sacrificial and mature love.

  
  

Personal Reflection & Final Thought

This topic touched me deeply. I often find it challenging to meet what feels like impossible expectations from my wife. As husbands, we like to feel in control, yet our wives constantly call us to grow — sometimes through difficulty.

Despite the struggles, I don’t regret any of it. On the contrary, I wish I could give even more. I pray for greater knowledge, wisdom, patience, and strength to love better and respond with humility.

Through my family, I am learning what it truly means to love — and, in that process, I am beginning to understand God’s love for us.